How not to tell a joke (updated)

Today, the Mandarin is recalling President Ford’s famous gaffe:

On October 6, 1976, during a televised presidential debate in the 1976 presidential election with rival Jimmy Carter, President Ford became confused stated that Poland and Eastern Europe were not under the domination of the Soviet Union. When challenged over his comments, he repeated "There is no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe, and there never will be under a Ford administration." [Wikipedia]

That led to a lot of Republican back-filling and damage control, always beginning, “What President Ford meant to say was…..”

Enter John Kerry, definitely no David Letterman when it comes to delivering jokes.

Kerry’s script:

Do you know where you end up if you don’t study, if you aren’t smart, if you’re intellectually lazy? You end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq. Just ask President Bush.

What Kerry said:

You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.

What Senator Kerry meant to say was [déjà vu attack] that Shrub, the poster boy for people who are intellectually lazy, allowed his ignorance and intellectual laziness to get us stuck in Iraq.

Now, unfortunately, between Kerry's lame delivery and the short attention span of the american TV audience, the combat veteran with three purple hearts is once again facing character attacks from a bunch of draft-dodging chicken hawks like Lieutenant “AWOL” Shrub and Dick “multiple student deferments” Cheney.

Anyway, the lesson for Senator Kerry is, apologize whether you meant it or not, and read the Mandarin’s lips: no more ad libs. Leave the jokes to Al Gore.

UPDATE

Kerry's full statement of apology:

As a combat veteran, I want to make it clear to anyone in uniform and to their loved ones: my poorly stated joke at a rally was not about, and never intended to refer to any troop.

I sincerely regret that my words were misinterpreted to wrongly imply anything negative about those in uniform, and I personally apologize to any service member, family member, or American who was offended.

It is clear the Republican Party would rather talk about anything but their failed security policy. I don’t want my verbal slip to be a diversion from the real issues. I will continue to fight for a change of course to provide real security for our country, and a winning strategy for our troops.