Thursday, March 29, 2007

Calm down, little Shrub, or Mommy spank!

Shrub seems a little nervous, even though Speaker Pelosi had told him earlier that day to "Calm down with the threats, there's a new Congress in town."

Anyone know where the Mandarin can get a "Nancy for President" bumper sticker?

Original photo caption: U.S. President George W. Bush (R) reacts as he listens to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) during the annual Radio and Television Correspondents Association dinner at a hotel in Washington March 28, 2007. REUTERS/Jason Reed (UNITED STATES)

Crossposted at Watching Those We Choose.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Daddy's little girl

Here's one kinky lifestyle innovation for which the Mandarin and his fellow boomers can't claim credit: purity balls.

No sex please, we're daddy's little girls

It has all the ingredients of a wedding. The proud tuxedo-clad father, the frosted white cake, the limousines and an exchange of vows.

But there is no groom and the girl in the long gown is no bride. She's daddy's little girl, there to take a vow of chastity.

In what is becoming a trend among conservative Christians in the United States, girls as young as nine are pledging to their fathers to remain virgins until they wed, in elaborate ceremonies dubbed "Purity Balls."

The gala affairs are intended to celebrate the father-daughter relationship.

The highlight is when the fathers and daughters exchange vows, with dad signing a covenant to protect his daughter's chastity by living an unblemished life and the daughter promising not to have sex until marriage.

Many fathers at the ceremonies also slip "purity rings" around the finger of their misty-eyed daughters or offer them "chastity bracelets" and other jewelry that the girls can entrust to their husbands on their wedding night.

Well, as long as Daddy is slipping a ring or a bracelet on his little girl, why not just cut to the main event: the chastity, oops, "purity" belt? She can add the key to the wedding night swag bag she's saving for her future husband.

Oh, it gets better:

Mike Parcha, who recently attended one of these balls with his 11-year-old daughter Lora in the western state of Colorado, said the events reinforce his family's Christian beliefs.

"We realize that purity is a lifestyle, not an event, and this is just a celebration of that lifestyle and of that relationship that I have with my daughters," he said. ...

His two older daughters, aged 11 and 18, have attended the balls while the youngest, aged 4, must wait a few years.

Let's do some purity math. How old will a four-year-old girl be in "a few years?"
The Mandarin has to ask his loyal readers, does the mental image of an adult man standing next to his pre-pubescent daughter in a wedding dress, taking a vow together and slipping a ring on her finger give any one else the creeps?

The three girls, along with their three brothers, are all home schooled. Parcha's oldest daughter Christy, who recently graduated from high school, is now working on a fictional book about "the emotional purity of a young girl as she grows up."

[Cue Homer Simpson's voice] "Hmmm... Fictional book...."

UPDATE (24 Mar 07) - The Mandarin was amused to see Bill Maher making the same joke a day later on his show. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Bill....

Friday, March 16, 2007

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed: "I shot Buckwheat"

As part of his recent rambling confession to almost every real or imagined terrorist plot, attack, or pipe-dream of the last dozen years, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed (affectionately known as "KSM" to his CIA jailers at their secret prison in Poland over the last few years) has confessed to the last major unsolved crime of the 20th century: Who Shot Buckwheat.

Whether KSM really shot Buckwheat, or is just feeding his allegedly massive ego, or is simply padding his resume in anticipation of immanent martyrdom down at Guantanamo, or is trying to draw attention away from the real jihadist mastermind who planned the assassination of Buckwheat, well,... we may never know.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Harvesting organs from prisoners moves closer to home

As an update to the Mandarin's recent post on the Chinese government's practice of harvesting organs for transplant from prisoners, especially those imprisoned for merely practicing their religion, here is a recent headline from our own, more enlightened country:

South Carolina lawmakers may cut jail time for inmates who donate organs

COLUMBIA, South Carolina: Inmates in South Carolina could soon find that a kidney is worth 180 days.

Lawmakers are considering legislation that would let prisoners donate organs or bone marrow in exchange for time off their jail sentences.

A state Senate panel on Thursday endorsed creating an organ-and-tissue donation program for inmates. But legislators postponed debate on a measure to reduce the sentences of participating prisoners, citing concern that federal law may not allow it.

"I think it's imperative that we go all out and see what we can do," said the bills' chief sponsor, Democratic Sen. Ralph Anderson.

Well, this isn't the same thing as killing prisoners to harvest organs for a profitable transplant business, as in China. And, the Mandarin (who had his own kidney disease as a child) would love to see more people donate organs, but somehow the quid pro quo here just doesn't seem right. Does it?

Crossposted at Watching Those We Choose.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Cheney chooses outpatient treatment for his clot

rather than check into Walter Reed, as he always used to do when he had these little health issues, like heart attacks, etc.

And the Mandarin has been down with some kind of pesky flu-bug for a week, but will be back on top of his form soon.