Jeez, you would think he might at least recognize Arabic when he saw it....

The Mandarin is biased when it comes to studying foreign languages. After all, why so you think they call him the "Mandarin?" Anyway, one of the Mandarin's hot buttons is the sad fact that in America knowledge of, or even a rudimentary familiarity with foreign languages (except for America's unofficial second language - Spanish) seems to be dying out.

Here is an example, courtesy of Howard Kaloogian - a man who plans to run for Congress in the Mandarin's home state of California. Howard recently traveled to Baghdad (or did he?) and now he is trying to convince us that life in Baghdad is just peachy these days. He wants us to condemn the lefty press bias that fills our news with (doctored?) pictures of dead children and car bombs and mass execution of Shiite police recruits -- all purpotedly from some fictional civil war that he claims isn't happening. Just look at the happy Baghdadites, peacefully going about their daily lives. He wrote:

We took this photo of dowtown Baghdad while we were in Iraq. Iraq (including Baghdad) is much more calm and stable than what many people believe it to be. But, each day the news media finds any violence occurring in the country and screams and shouts about it - in part because many journalists are opposed to the U.S. effort to fight terrorism.

The problem is the picture. I don't expect a wingnut like Howard to recognize that the signs are in Turkish, but I would have expected him to notice that there is not a single Arabic letter in the entire scene!

Jeez Louise! The Mandarin is sad to say that we in America get the Congress we deserve. The voters of San Diego deserve better.


UPDATE: Parody is the sincerest form of ridicule - click me.


Photo source: linked page on Josh Marshall's "Talking Points Memo."

Our Constitutional Crisis: Has Shrub even read the dang thing?

President Bush has given Commander-in-Chief Bush unlimited wartime authority. But the "war on terror" is more a metaphor than a fact. Terrorism is a method, not an ideology; terrorists are criminals, not warriors. No peace treaty can possibly bring an end to the fight against far-flung terrorists. The emergency powers of the president during this "war" can now extend indefinitely, at the pleasure of the president and at great threat to the liberties and rights guaranteed us under the Constitution.

...

The presidency possesses no power not granted to it under the Constitution. The powers the current administration seeks in its "war on terror" are not granted under the Constitution. Indeed, they are explicitly prohibited by acts of Congress.

The Mandarin admires writers who can explain a complex issue in simple language. Read the full article, to see why Shrub and Big Dick and the whole neo-Con Mafia must be removed from their posts at the next legal opportunity.

Could their timing have been any better?

The Vatican has begun moves to rehabilitate the Crusaders by sponsoring a conference at the weekend that portrays the Crusades as wars fought with the “noble aim” of regaining the Holy Land for Christianity.

The Crusades are seen by many Muslims as acts of violence that have underpinned Western aggression towards the Arab world ever since. Followers of Osama bin Laden claim to be taking part in a latter-day “jihad against the Jews and Crusaders”.

The late Pope John Paul II sought to achieve Muslim- Christian reconciliation by asking “pardon” for the Crusades during the 2000 Millennium celebrations. But John Paul’s apologies for the past “errors of the Church” — including the Inquisition and anti-Semitism — irritated some Vatican conservatives. According to Vatican insiders, the dissenters included Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict XVI. [Click the title above for the full article.]

Well, Ratzinger is Pope now, so the Mandarin guesses he decided that the Crusades need a bit of a PR touch-up. Excellent timing, O snappy dresser.

Clear signs of progress. yep... they're out there somewhere....

Well, it's kinda hard to see them from here, but y'all are just going to have to trust me on this one.

Original photo caption: President Bush shades is eyes from the lights as he takes questions at the City Club in Cleveland, Monday, March 20, 2006. President Bush on Monday cited success in stabilizing an insurgent stronghold in northern Iraq, saying he has 'confidence in our strategy' and critics should look beyond the images of violence to see clear signs of progress. (AP Photo/Mark Duncan)/

As the twig is bent....

Somehow the Mandarin knew an article like this was coming sooner or later.

Yikes! Maybe I should start calling him "President Bush" again....

Click me for a look at which recent California gubernatorial candidate is attending the National Republican Congressional Committee "United to Victory" dinner. Hint: no Austrian accent.

Judge deals what?!

Headline: Judge deals blow in Moussaoui trial

The Mandarin keeps picturing lawyers at the sidebar passing hundreds to the judge.... Then the Mandarin read the article.

The Mandarin would have read it sooner, but he took a detour and didn't want to ask for directions.

Why Ann Telnaes is the Mandarin's favorite cartoonist

Click me to see why.

Reminds the Mandarin of "Mission Accomplished"

Original photo caption: U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney speaks during his keynote address to the U.S. Labor Department's 2006 National Summit on Retirement Savings at the Willard Hotel in Washington March 2, 2006. REUTERS/Larry Downing

Oscar Chinese

The Mandarin was checking out Chinese press reports of the Oscars (don’t ask him why) and he decided to see how the titles of some recent films had been translated into Chinese. It turned out that some Chinese titles were fairly literal, and others less so. Deciphering the names of directors and actors was a challenge, too.

So, without further ado, a selection of films nominated in various Oscar categories, as presented in the Chinese press:

“Broken-back Mountain” 斷背山, directed by Li An and starring Jieke Jilunxi'er and Xisi Laiji'er.

“Penetrating America from One End to the Other” 穿越美國 starring Feilixiti Huofuman. Mandarin’s note: Don’t go there.

“Flowing and Bustling” 川流熙攘 starring Telunsi Huohuade and Andongni Andesen. The song from this film also won the Oscar, but the Mandarin hasn’t been able to find a Chinese version of "Its Hard Out There for a Pimp" yet.

“Good Night, Good Luck” 晚安好運 , directed by Qiaozhi Keluni, starring Keluni and Dawei Siteleizeen. Keluni was also nominated as an actor for the film “Xinruina.”

“I Will Definitely Not Give Way to You” 決不讓步, also called “Wind and Clouds in the North” 北方風雲, starring Chalizi Sailong, Saien Bin, Wudi Haliseng and Fulanxisi Maikedaoman.

“Iron-fisted Male” 鐵拳男人 starring Luosu Keluo, Ruini Qiweige and Baoluo Jiyamati.

“Munihei” 慕尼黑 [Cantonese “Moneihak” = Munich] directed by Shitiwen Sipierboge.

“Press Forward with an Indomitable Spirit” 一往無前, starring Ruixi Weisesipeng and Jiaokuayin Feinikesi.

“Pride and Prejudice” 傲慢與偏見, starring Kaila Naiteli.

“The Never-withering Gardener” 不朽的園丁, also called “Ominous Pursuit Without Borders” 無國界追兇, starring Leiqie'er Weizi and Lai'erfu Feiyinsi.

“A Tale of Cold Blood” 冷血字傳, also just called “Kabote” 卡波特, directed by Beinate Mila and starring Feilipu Saimo'er Huofuman (no relation to Feilixiti Huofuman) and Kaiselin Jina.

and the Oscar went to:

“Automobile Accident” 撞車, directed by Baoluo Hajisi starring Sandela Buluoke, Ruian Feilipu (no relation to Feilipu Saimo'er Huofuman), Tang Qiande'er*, Mate Dilun, Bulandeng Fuleize, and Telunsi Huohuade (that makes two big films this year for Huohuade). Mandarin’s note: The Chinese title is a nice bit of wordplay, because the word 撞 also conveys a sense of “chance meeting” as well as things crashing into each other.

Next Sunday night, with the Oscars out of the way, the Mandarin will have to decide whether to watch "Frenzied Housewives" 瘋狂主婦 on ABC or "Criminal Clan" 黑道家族 on HBO. Decisions, decisions.


* If you got this one, you're probaby a Mandarin yourself. Tang Qiande'er = Don Cheadle.

George Orwell must have predicted this

George Orwell, or as the Mandarin says in Mandarin 喬治歐威爾 Qiaozhi Ouerwei, didn't die in 1950, as you will read in palces like Wikipedia -- he is alive and well and living in China.

The Mandarin recalls back in the 1980s, when he was traipsing the length and breadth of China trying to find a single Chinese entity creditworthy enough to make a loan to them, that one year (in the late 80s?) the central government decided to crack down on extravagant entertainment of local officials by limiting all banquets to five courses (or was it three?). This of course was at a time when many business proposals were approved after undergoing further "study" by the Chinese side. Hint: "study" 研究 sounds a lot like "cigarettes and liquor" 煙酒. Nudge, nudge.

So, shortly after that announcement, the Mandarin was at a bank meeting (where a borrower and their bankers meet to discuss a new loan proposal) in Shenzhen and after the third course (or was it the fifth?) of a long maotai-filled dinner, all the local officials got up stony-faced (especially since it was mid-winter and the snake soup was just coming out of the kitchen) and excused themselves.

Ah, nostalgia. Sometime, the Mandarin will have to describe the public toilets at the Lhasa (Tibet) Airport.

Anyway, imagine the Mandarin's surprise to read this today:

BEIJING (Reuters) - An adviser to the Chinese parliament has urged curbs on civil servants' body weight to aid the fight against corruption.

In a country where people often complain that police officers seem too well fed to catch villains, Miu Shouliang said limiting the weight of officials would stop them spending government money on wining and dining, the Xinhua news agency reported.

Such a measure "should also contribute to regulating their working styles and improving morality," Xinhua said, citing Miu, a businessman from the southern boom town of Shenzhen.

"However, some experts doubted the scientific basis of such a method," Xinhua added.

The proposed measure, which Miu did not detail, might do more than limit waste of public funds. Low-level bribery in China often takes the form of elaborate banquets, which, unlike cash, cannot be traced after being eaten.

Well, the Mandarin wonders if perhaps tiny multi-colored indigestibe plastic balls mixed into the sauces might overcome the "cannot be traced" public funds waste problem....

Anyway, the Mandarin can see it now: the monring weigh-in at the Shenzhen Bureau of the State General Administration for Foreign Exchange Control.

"Next, Comrade You Qianren 有錢人 [Mandarin joke: it means "rich guy"], step on the scales please; we know you were entertained last night at a banquet by the decadent right-wing revisionist running dog capitalist lackeys from Citibank.... Uh oh, up two kilos from last week. Get out the castor oil."

Another caption contest

During his trip to India, Shrub visited an agricultural college in Hyderabad where he received a warm welcome from one of the local celebrities.


Captions might include:

"Condi! Get me a red cape and a sword before this thing gets any closer."

"Dang, why did I put that apple in my pocket this morning."

"Well you don't smell too good yourself, big fella."

Photo source, picture #3.

Hiding in plain sight?

Four and a half years ago, Shrub was warned by Condi (seen here in the background whispering Shrub's lines into her concealed microphone) and the CIA that bin Ladin was going to attack inside the US, which he did soon afterward.

Now, after spending all that time trying to get bin Ladin dead or alive, Shrub is finally "confident" that we are about to find him.

Actually, the Mandarin knows where he is. You can see him behind Shrub, saluting (perhaps his way of giving the finger?) -- check out the tall guy in a military uniform wearing the cheap big nose, mustache and thick glasses dime-store disguise:


Original photo caption: U.S. President George W. Bush, left, walks with his Afghan counterpart Hamid Karzai at the Presidential Palace in Kabul after making a surprise visit to Afghanistan Wednesday, March 1, 2006. Bush said Wednesday he remains confident Osama bin Laden 'will be brought to justice' despite a so-far futile five-year hunt. (AP Photo/Shah Marai, Pool)/

Bizarro President

Shrub's latest gaffe - defying his own party's leadership by defending the sale of some U.S. port operations to a company with Arab owners, gave the Mandarin a nostalgia attack. Especially when the Mandarin read that Shrub wasn't even told of the potentially controversial decision at the time it was made and only learned about it later, from press reports.

Back in the early 1980s, boys and girls, there was a Middle Eastern dictator with billions of dollars of oil money to spend who was an avowed enemy of the U.S., sponsored terrorism and was seeking weapons of mass destruction. The Mandarin isn't talking about Saddam Hussein - he was one of our best allies in the region back then. We were worried about that Michael Jackson of the Middle East - Muammar al Qadhafi.

On August 19, 1981, during military exercises in the Gulf of Sidra, two U.S. Navy F-14s entered an area considered by the U.S. to be international waters, but claimed by Libya as within their coastal territorial limit. Two Libyan Su-22 fighters scrambled to challenge the F-14s and were promptly shot down. Amid fears that the incident might escalate to open warfare between the U.S. and Libya, our forces went on high alert and a crisis team worked through the night in Washington. In the end, Libya backed down from its threats to retaliate for the provocation and relations returned to a lower, more usual level of tension.

The enduring, some way bizarre, image of the event for Americans (well maybe not so enduring after all if the Mandarin has to provide this turgid footnote) was the White House crisis team's decision not to wake President Reagan up to tell him what was happening. He learned about it bright-eyed and bushy-tailed the next morning over his breakfast, just like the rest of us.

A few weeks later, "Saturday Night Live" ran one of its all-time funniest sketches, based on the Superman comic book character Bizarro Superman. On Bizarro World, everything is backwards. The sketch was set in the Trapezoidal Office of the Black House, residence of Bizarro President Reagan. An excerpt:

Black House Aide #2: Where am the Bizarro President?

Black House Aide #1: His job in Washington, so of course he in California.

Black House Aide #2: That don't make Bizarro sense.

…

Black House Aide #2: Hello. Ah-ha! Phone did not ring, so me answer it. [answers phone] Goodbye! Oh, no! Oh, no! There's a crisis! There's a crisis! Quick, Bizarro President! Go to sleep!

[Bizarro President drops his head onto his desk and falls asleep]

Black House Aide #1: Phew! That was quick Presidential action. What a leader!

…

Black House Aide #2: Him am incredible! Bizarro Americans all love him!

Black House Aide #1: Of course.

Bizarro President: [waking up] Me right-to-lifer, so me support the death penalty!

Black House Aide #1: It's that kind of statement that has made him the darling of the Bizarro empire.

As Bizarro George Santayana once said, "Those who cannot learn from Bizarro history are condemned to repeat it."

A neocon true believer recants

Francis Fukuyama, one of the intellectual godfathers of the Neo-Conservative movement, now wishes it would just go away (click me for full story):

Mr Fukuyama now thinks the war in Iraq is the wrong sort of war, in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

"The most basic misjudgment was an overestimation of the threat facing the United States from radical Islamism," he argues.

"Although the new and ominous possibility of undeterrable terrorists armed with weapons of mass destruction did indeed present itself, advocates of the war wrongly conflated this with the threat presented by Iraq and with the rogue state/proliferation problem more generally."

Mr Fukuyama, one of the US's most influential public intellectuals, concludes that "it seems very unlikely that history will judge either the intervention [in Iraq] itself or the ideas animating it kindly".

Going further, he says the movements' advocates are Leninists who "believed that history can be pushed along with the right application of power and will. Leninism was a tragedy in its Bolshevik version, and it has returned as farce when practised by the United States".

Too bad Shrub doesn't read newspapers or he might start to worry.

The lighter side of Condoleeza

Multiple choice captions today.

The Mandarin likes:

"If Iran so much as tries to make a bomb, I'll grind them to dust, just like this."

or

"Zero. Exactly zero is how much chance Hillary would have against me in 2008."

Submit your favorites, boys and girls.


Original photo caption: U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice testifies about 'The International Affairs Budget Request for Fiscal 2007' at the U.S. House International Relations Committee hearings on Capitol Hill February 16, 2006. REUTERS/Larry Downing

Déjà vu all over again -- Shrub is behind his Vice President 1,000%

Darth Cheney is toast. Shrub's team (meaning Karl Rove) will ease Cheney out this year so they can appoint an heir-apparent as Vice President to run in 2008 so Shrub's vision (meaning Karl Rove's vision) for spreading messy Rumsfeldian democracy in the Middle East can continue. This is not good news for Bill Frist.

The Mandarin realized Cheney's days were numbered today as he read various headlines proclaiming Shrub's full support for his embattled Veep. Not to mention all the bright orange "Don't shoot!" ties sprouting around the White House

[Begin flashback to 1972, when the Mandarin was hardly taller than an eggroll standing on its end.]

Remember Thomas Eagleton? Senator Eagleton (D-Mo) was George McGovern's (first) Vice Presidential running mate. The free press, doing their job, uncovered information that Senator Eagleton had been treated briefly for depression years earlier and had undergone electro-shock therapy. McGovern announced that he was behind Eagleton "one thousand percent," and had no intention of dropping him from the ticket. Three days later, guess what. McGovern dropped him anyway and replaced him with some other guy, the Mandarin forgets who. Sargent Shriver or something like that.

Anyway, the Mandarin fully expects Big Dick to be back home in Wyoming hunting snipes, or whatever they hunt in Wyoming, by the time the first snow dusts the Wind River Range this fall.


P.S. The picture is Senator Eagleton. And for all you younger readers out there (you know who you are), the late great Hunter S. Thompson's book Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail is the definitive study of the McGovern campaign self-destructing and a lot more about that bizarre year in American politics. Which of course the Mandarin is too young to remember. That's the Mandarin's story and he's sticking to it... one thousand percent.

Darth Cheney finally comes clean

The Vice President of the United States has finally come forward and publicly accepted full responsibility for his serious lapse of judgment the other day down in Texas:

February 13, 2006

Statement by the Office of the Vice President

It has been brought to the Vice President's attention by the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department this afternoon that, although he had acquired a 125 dollar Texas non-resident season hunting license, he lacked a 7 dollar stamp for hunting upland game birds. To address any questions about the licensing:

-- A member of the Vice President's staff wrote a check for 140 dollars understanding that this would purchase a Texas non-resident season hunting license that would permit the Vice President to hunt quail in Texas. It appears now that the license itself cost 125 dollars, and an extra 15 dollars covered the cost of a Federal migratory bird stamp. The Vice President did not need the Federal stamp, as he already possessed one.

-- The staff asked for all permits needed, but was not informed of the 7 dollar upland game bird stamp requirement.

-- Because the requirement is new, the Department has informed us that it is issuing warnings, and the Vice President expects to receive one. He will take whatever steps are needed to comply with applicable rules.

-- In the meantime, the Vice President has sent a 7 dollar check to the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department, which is the cost of an upland game bird stamp.

And, oh, by the way, um... sorry I, um... accidentally, uh, shot some old guy in the face with a shotgun.

I miss Dan Rather sometimes

I'm sure Dan Rather, a Texas boy like Bob Scheiffer, would already have video in the can (or whatever video is in after you shoot it) of someone firing a 28-gauge shotgun at a firing range target to see the big hole chopped out of it by the pellets.

Rather: "So, let me get this straight. At the same range that Vice President Vader, sorry, Vice President Cheney shot Mr. Whittington, this is what the same kind of shotgun shell did to the paper target?" [zoom in]

As the Mandarin recalls, at that range, even with bird shot, someone isn't "sprayed," they're, well,... shot. They don't put you in intensive care to pick a few little pellets out with tweezers.

Cheney gets his man, sort of...

Maybe the Darth Vader helmet needs its range finder re-calibrated? The Mandarin reads this in the press:

Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and injured a man during a weekend quail hunting trip in Texas, his spokeswoman said Sunday.

Harry Whittington, 78, was "alert and doing fine" after Cheney sprayed Whittington with shotgun pellets on Saturday at the Armstrong Ranch in south Texas, said property owner Katharine Armstrong.

Armstrong said Cheney turned to shoot a bird and accidentally hit Whittington. She said Whittington was taken to Corpus Christi Memorial Hospital by ambulance.

Cheney's spokeswoman, Lea Anne McBride, said the vice president was with Whittington, a lawyer from Austin, Texas, and his wife at the hospital on Sunday afternoon.


The Mandarin wonders if Cheney (a/k/a Lord Dark Helmet) might be regretting those five consecutive Vietnam War draft deferments he used to stay out of the Army. The Mandarin recalls clearly from his own days learning how to shoot the M-16 in Basic Training that killing your man with the first shot is a key success factor in military marksmanship. But I guess a face full of bird shot is better than nothing. Or did someone simply give Cheney some faulty inteligence about the target's location?

Shrub thwarts attack on L.A.... phew!

The Mandarin got home in time to watch the news tonight. Here's what he learned: the tallest building west of the Mississippi (what is it with the Mississippi anyway?) is in Los Angeles. Formerly called the Library Tower (or "Liberty Tower" per Shrub, whose bifocals weren't calibrated for the teleprompter), it is now named for a Minneapolis-based bank to which the Mandarin prefers not to give any free advertising. Of course, some of the Mandarin's friends who worked for the old First Interstate Bank in those days prefer to call it "Joe Pinola's Erection." Anyway, the tower is a bit over 1,000 feet high, and the Mandarin's office is in a building -- never mind which one -- that is about 1,000 feet from the Library Tower. Do the math.

So, how glad was the Mandarin that Shrub was on the job and saved him from being almost smushed by falling books from the Library Tower? But, wait a minute, the Mandarin says to himself -- what if the information that helped Shrub foil their dastardly plot was obtained through illegal wiretaps in violation of the Constitution and the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act?

Well, Bob Schieffer had the answer on CBS tonight. The information was not obtained from illegally wiretapping Americans. It was obtained by means of "aggressive interrogation" of "suspected al Qaeda terrorists" by agents of third countries under the policy of "extraordinary rendition."

In other words, we had some poor schmuck (or however you say "schmuck" in Arabic) flown to someplace like Egypt and tortured until they spilled the beans. Or made up the beans to get the Egyptians to stop torturing them. Anyway, Mr. and Mrs. America, rest easy. Your civil liberties are intact. Unless, of course, Shrub decides they aren't.

Original photo caption: An airplane passes behind the U.S. Bank Tower, formerly known as the Library Tower, in downtown Los Angeles Thursday, Feb. 9, 2006. President Bush said Thursday the U.S-led global war on terror, with multinational cooperation, foiled purported terrorist plans to fly a commercial airplane into the Los Angeles skyscraper in 2002. (AP Photo/Kim D. Johnson)

"Cartoon violence" takes on a new meaning

When the Mandarin and his generation (and perhaps yours as well) were growing up, cartoon violence meant something like the eternal struggle of Wile E. Coyote to catch the Roadrunner. (I wonder if he would have known what to do with a roadrunner had he ever caught one.)

Now, watching recent news headlines like "Four Die in Cartoon Violence," the whole coyote roadrunner thing seems kind of quaint.

No matter how open we are to diversity of thought and religion, sharing the planet with people who will try to kill us over a tasteless editorial cartoon published in a free press in a free country is something Miss Jaggers never prepared the Mandarin for in 12th-grade Civics class back in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. Toto, we're not in Kansas any more, either.

Neither is cartoonist M.E. Cohen (click here and scroll to 7 Feb 06), who drew it better than the Mandarin said it.

Remember those questions on the IQ tests they used to give us?

The one where they show you a bunch of things and say, "Which one doesn't belong?" Like, maybe, a duck, a goose, a turkey, and a skunk? This picture reminded the Mandarin of a question like that. Or maybe the Sesame Street song the Mandarin used to sing to his sons when they were little:

"One of these things is not like the others,/ One of these things just doesn't belong,/ Can you tell which thing is not like the others/ By the time I finish my song?"

Anyway, today's secret category was "Presidential Timber." The Mandarin sees three ex-Presidents, two powerful women who could be President (one of them will) and one,... well, you get the picture.

Original photo caption: From bottom to top, U.S. President George W. Bush, first lady Laura Bush, former President Bill Clinton, his wife U.S. Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY), former President George H.W. Bush and former President Jimmy Carter attend funeral services for Coretta Scott King at the New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Lithonia, Georgia February 7, 2006. Coretta Scott King was the wife of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (Jason Reed/Reuters)

Hours of fun for the whole family!

"George Says..." is a blast! Click here to play.

Bipartisan sarcasm week

The Swiftboat Whitewater Veterans for Truth are already silk-screening this one onto a $9.95 t-shirt.

Original photo caption: Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY) greets people as she arrives for U.S. President George W. Bush's the State of the Union address at the U.S. Capitol in Washington January 31, 2006. REUTERS/Jason Reed

As Donald Rumsfeld said not too long ago, "Democracy is messy."

Original Photo Caption: Palestinian supporters of Islamic Hamas wave flags during a rally in support of candidates for the Palestinian parliamentary elections in the West Bank town of Hebron in this Monday, Jan. 23, 2006 file photo. Despite no immediate public displays of celebration, Hamas on Thursday claimed victory in Wednesday's election, saying that based on partial results it won a solid majority of seats, a dramatic upset confirmed by senior officials in the rival Fatah Party. Israel and the United States have said they would not deal with a Hamas-led Palestinian government. Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas has said he would step down if he could no longer pursue his peace agenda with Israel. (AP Photo/Kevin Frayer)

Deer in the headlghts?

His eyes blurry from staring into those headlights all the time, Shrub turns away briefly and checks his shoelaces.

Original photo caption: President George W. Bush is shown in this January 19, 2006 photo. Bush said on Saturday that he would push this year for measures to limit the soaring costs of health care, as he previewed domestic themes before his State of the Union address. REUTERS/Jim Young

If Alito is confirmed, the Mandarin sees the court leaning to the right

Unmistakable hint today at the Senate hearings.

Original photo caption: Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito, right, along with his sister Rosemary, left, and wife Martha look on during his confirmation hearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee on Capitol Hill, Monday, Jan. 9, 2006. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

"Cheney Leaves Hospital After Breathing Scare"

If you think his breathing sounds scary now, wait until he gets to the office and puts the Darth Vader helmet back on.

Original photo caption: Vice President Dick Cheney addresses the American Enterprise Institute in Washington in this November 21, 2005 file photograph. Cheney was taken to a Washington hospital early on Monday, suffering from shortness of breath, CNN reported. (Jonathan Ernst/Reuters)

Not seeing eye to eye this week, are we?

The Mandarin has enjoyed a couple of weeks away from the Shrub Wars, but this one was too good to pass up.

This Abramoff-gate thing could be really interesting....


Original photo caption: U.S. President George W. Bush (L) walks past House Majority leader Tom DeLay (R-TX) after stepping off Air Force One at Andrews Air Force base near Washington in this April 26, 2005 file photo. DeLay, now under indictment in Texas and tainted by a corruption scandal, told fellow House of Representatives Republicans on January 7, 2006 that he will not try to reclaim his job as majority leader. (Jason Reed/Files/Reuters)